News/Blog

Real Life Riddick: Chinese Kid Can See In Dark

January 26, 2012 By Mike B

It has been discovered that a boy named Nong Youhui of southern China was born with bright blue eyes and can see in the dark. The Chinese journalists that uncovered this blue-eyed Asian did test the kid’s special powers; however, they did so by  less than satisfactory methods: sticking him underneath a stairwell, using blankets to block out the light, and making him do fill-in-the-blanks and answer some questions.

So how did this happen?  Perhaps he paid 20 menthol Kools in the slammer for the surgery, just like Riddick or maybe he was born with the bright eyes, and is in fact a mutant. He should probably be trained to become a deadly assassin, which shouldn’t be hard because he’s Asian, and be sent on special night-time assignments. Then again, I’m sure night vision goggles would close the gap for those normal assassins out there, although Nong would probably be more mobile.

Could this be the beginning of the evolution of the human race? Maybe, but that means the current human beings living on Earth won’t get any powers at all. Down with mutants!

Here’s the video of Nong Youhui:

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